Nervous

Tonight at 19.00h is the appointment with my neurologist to discuss the MRI scan made last Friday. The hope is that the lymphomas have disappeared on the MRI, as well as that there are no active MS lesions.
I have no feeling about what the outcome might be. If I would have been a healthy person before this all started, it might have been easier to feel whether something is still wrong. I clearly was not a healthy person. Even though I don’t feel as bad as at the beginning of last year, there is still a lot of room for improvement. Then again, there was a lot of room for improvement in 2016 as well. What I am trying to say is that I am totally in the dark about tonight’s appointment.
On my blog, I have mainly been talking about my cancer, but multiple sclerosis by itself can also suck a great deal. The chemo that I had followed by a stem cell transplantation is considered to be even stronger than the most effective therapy for MS. Finding MS activity on the MRI scan also has unwanted implications.
For now, nightmarish images of a new brain biopsy, new chemo’s, new hospital stays, and further progression of my MS float around in my head. In seven hours we will know more.